The Doubting Place

The Doubting Place

Do you think we could make some room for some doubts for a moment?

There are times where it’s really hard for me to understand what God is doing. There are times where I even doubt if God really knows what he is doing with some of the things in my life.

I don’t think I could necessarily do them better. I mean, I once messed up a Hello Fresh meal and they literally give you step by step instructions and MEASURE OUT THE INGREDIENTS IT IS SO NOT THAT HARD WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.

I digress.

I think we all can live in a place of doubt, if we let ourselves go there. And I think sometimes it’s ok to let us go there.

Now, please don’t hear that I think it’s ok to go to a place of doubt and camp out for life, never believing in the goodness of God.

I just think we get distracted by the things that try to tell us that God does not have this down.

I was good at doubting from a young age. I questioned everything they tried to teach me in Sunday School at the Catholic Church my parents occasionally dropped me off at on Sunday mornings. It wasn’t until I stopped doing the homework and received an actual report card with an F that we realized maybe I wasn’t getting much out of my Sunday mornings (what did they expect, I already had to go to school FIVE OTHER DAYS…I didn’t need any more grades to botch).

But I remember that being the first space I expressed my doubts. I thought it was absurd that someone would have to die for me. I didn’t ask for that.

I thought miracles sounded like fairy tales and didn’t have any true context in my life.

It wasn’t until later in life where those doubts would turn into belief and my doubts would only get more complicated.

Like why is cancer a thing.

And why do miscarriages happen.

And why are people still hungry.

Why do people lose their jobs.

And does God really need me to do what I’m doing, because it kind of feels hard.

I’m not here to answer those questions. But I am here to tell you that the promises of God are bigger than my questions. Maybe they don’t answer them specifically for the people in my life, but they do provide the thing we need the most when these doubts creep in.

Comfort.

So if you’re like me and allow yourself go to the doubting place, let speak some of those promises over you.

  1. God loves you a lot and forever.

Gosh, it doesn’t feel like it somedays, right? I mean who could love me? I’m a mess. I wish a Hello Fresh meal was the biggest mess up I’ve had this year. But God provides a love that is bigger than burnt rice and softer than the smell of smoke filling our house.

His love is soft and sweet and yet jerks us into course correction in a way that gives us whiplash. But at the end of the day we are claimed by a love that is bigger than the life or death or angels or demons or your life today or your life tomorrow and it’s not going to separate us. No matter your mistakes and no matter your doubts.

  1. You have a heavenly home.

This life is sucky. I won’t sugarcoat it. The news shows that this place is not our home and it’s too messy for us to live here forever like this. But one day we will have a home that is safe and beautiful and filled with more joy than our little hearts can imagine. It is in the blood of Christ that we are washed clean and prepared for that home. In the meantime, our job is to make this place a little better because it really needs our help.

3. You have purpose.

Psalm 139 says that God knit us in the womb so if for some reason your doubts are telling you otherwise, know that you have a purpose here today. You are not a mistake and there is a purpose for you in whatever season you are in.

4. God is not out to get you.

God really is out to bless us, but I think we mistake all of the grossness in our life as God trying to harm us so that we love Him a little more. I don’t think that’s what He is doing. He is out to satisfy our deepest desires and heal our deepest wounds. He’s not causing them. This broken world may be breaking us, but God is here to heal all of that broken.

5. God is going to give you strength.

I was recently talking with friends about an old song that I love to hate. If you were in church 15 years ago (or an older church today), you probably sang Trading My Sorrows every. single. sunday. (I hope it’s stuck in your head for the rest of the day). While that song drives me crazy, there’s a line I genuinely love.

Though the sorrow may last for the night, His joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 30 takes us deeper into this line singing praises because He restores us and gives us strength. He makes it so we can dance even though we may be really sad. It may feel like it’s been a long time since you’ve seen the morning, but look for the strength that God has given you to get through to the morning. His promise is that morning is not that far off.

I could say yes and amen to those promises all day long. Yes, there is room for our doubts, but we must know there are promises that are larger than any doubt we could ever live within. I hope your doubts never allow themselves to be louder than the truth. And I hope you find freedom in those truth, you deserve it.